from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize