Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
