yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
