Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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