9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
