Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
