a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
