Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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