i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
