Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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