you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
