you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
