No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
