Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
