I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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