you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i've created a new STD.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
