No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Two words: blizzard sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
