How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
