I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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