Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
