there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
