Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
