Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
