Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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