Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
