I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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