Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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