Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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