as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He passed out mid-signature
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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