I hope mine doesn't look like that
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
