i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
