PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize