He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
