I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
