I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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