belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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