2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize