she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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