Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize