How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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