If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
