I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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