If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
