Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
