It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How's work?
Spinning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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