Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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