also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
