Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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