This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
