so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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