yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need help removing her.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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