Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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