ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
