my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
