How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
