I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
