Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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