Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
