not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
