genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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