Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this will be a night to untag.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
