my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize