Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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