so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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