pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
