His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
