well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
