i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
