3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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