Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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